When was I
Has it been
No but he was now
I want
I want to see
I want to
What?
What does it
Mean for it to be seen
I want to see it
I have to what what
He lied
Now forever
Now tomorrow
What what?
It hurts
Am I dying
Or waking up
Under pain
Please cut it
God my God
I did the right thing?
You told me!
Told me told me
But that
Not right
What can I see
Why can't I see
My hands are holding
What were they for
So painful he lied
Where’s mum
I'm not meant to die
Blood in my mouth
Something in my neck
Am I
Why isn't
I was promised happiness!
Help me! I’m
I’m sorry
Sorry?
Did I run?
Why does it hurt?
What’s happening?
What did I do?
I don't
Don't want to
What did I do wrong?
Please!
I don't want to die
I have to live
Have to be special
I’m scared
Please!
I don’t wan...t
...
...
...
This poem could be the words of a soldier dying on the battlefield. It is similar, in feeling, to the poems that appeared during and after world war one. This is a terribly sad poem, especially in view of the period of your life in which you wrote it. It is also, and more importantly, a beautiful and haunting piece of writing from what I believe is a new and emerging literary voice in Australia. Others share my opinion.
ReplyDeleteI certainly share your opinion and hope that she will seriously pursue publishing her writing. To bring it to fruition will take dedication, discipline and determination. Lucy, keep writing and go for the brass ring.
ReplyDeleteLucy,
ReplyDeleteThe haunting staccato sentence fragments flow together like the coarse brush strokes in an expressionist painting, creating a whole which is altogether more than the words. Very moving. - HR
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